Letting Go of an Unhealthy Relationship

Sometimes that old saying is true, all good things must come to an end. Especially when our definition of good is flawed. Many times we stay in relationships because we are simply afraid of ending it, even when we know that is the best thing to do. In my opinion, we stay in some relationships much longer than necessary because we believe we have invested too much time and energy to let it go and we start to have the “what ifs.”

Time is a very precious gift. It is so valuable that it cannot be replaced. Time is one of the most limited but important possessions we have so we must use it wisely. That includes the people with whom we wish to spend our time.

We should never be fearful of walking away from a relationship because we believe we have invested too much time. The truth is, if we have invested a significant amount of time and have nothing but heartache and pain to show for it, that is even more reason to let it go. Good relationships add to your life. If it’s not adding value, then it’s not for you.

This does not mean every relationship will be great all of the time, but no relationship should be draining you (emotionally and/or physically) the majority of the time.

There was a time in my life when I was dating a guy who was fun, spontaneous and handsome. We had a good time when we were together, but one day I looked up and I had nothing to show for this relationship except more debt and he wasn’t helping with one dime of it.

This guy did all the right things. I mean he checked all the boxes (so it seemed). He had a relationship with God, he loved my family, he was there for me when my grandmother passed and he asked my dad if he could marry me. All of this and I still felt as if I was missing something. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. This man thought he was the jewel of the relationship. He believed I was lucky to have him in my life. Never the other way around.

He was living off of me. Everything we did was done because of me or a “hook-up” he received. I am not mad at the “hook-up” but my life with him was based on a “hook-up;” never a sacrifice by him. I was not worth him making a sacrifice.

Once I realized what was happening, I told myself no more. After making this decision, the “what ifs” began to creep in. What if he really gets it this time? What if he starts helping me pay the bills? What if he does get his dream job? What if he does start saving for a ring he promised me? What if all of these things happen and I have let him go? There was no way I was going to let another woman reap the benefits of my hard work and sacrifice.

Those were the dumbest moments in my life. I cannot believe I was trying to convince myself to stay in a one-sided relationship. Why do we do that? Why do we settle when we know better?

Relationships that don’t work out are there to grow you in one way or another. You should learn something new and amazing about yourself through those experiences. Nothing happens by chance. God knows your end from your beginning. He knows the choices you’ll make before they are even presented to you. He will not allow you to fall without stretching out His hands to help you up. He’s that good!

Just because we enter into relationships with others does not mean we have to stay in them. If you are not happy and are not moving in the direction you want to move, let it go. In this life, you will have to end some friendships, some romantic relationships and even some relationships with your family members.

Everyone is not meant to be in your life for your lifetime. Some people enter your life for a specific reason, others for a destined season and very few for your lifetime. Once you figure out who is who, your life and your heart will be much happier. Relationships are tricky. The main thing to remember is be true to yourself and of course,

Bee Love


  1. Mel says:

    That was so true!!

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